It is hard to walk in the dark. If you’ve ever gone camping and had to use the restroom in the middle of the night, you know the challenge of walking over uncertain terrain to find the facilities. That’s when you’re glad you remembered to pack a flashlight. The truth is, we’ve all been walking […]

Article by Bryan Berghoef, June 2019 eNews Sitting in my new backyard office shed, I hear the birds chirping around me and look out over the misty flower fields out my window, and I feel a sense of peace. The spaces and places we spend our time in matter. It is an old small barn […]

by Bryan Berghoef “Meow, meow, me-ooow,” came the sad call from outside my window. A farm cat had wandered over the neighboring field and was now circling my backyard office shed. It was a forlorn call, and he was right underneath the window where I was holding a pre-marital counseling session with a young couple. […]

Today’s post is by Bryan Berghoef I recently gathered with some friends for a time of silence at what we are calling, “Meditation Club.” There’s no big agenda. No expected outcomes. Simply the chance to come and meet in the quiet. I try to take time to meditate on my own regularly, but I have […]

Today’s post is by Bryan Berghoef All of my life I’ve had great vision, never needed glasses, and always breezed through the letter charts during eye tests. But in recent months I began to realize things were changing. I could no longer read text on the television when seated on the couch. Driving at night […]

Pulling in to the monastery, the snow was piled high on the abbey grounds. The walkways were cleared, as the monks had fastidiously kept the paths open for themselves and any guests who would take advantage of their hospitality. I arrived on a chilly day that began less than 10 degrees Fahrenheit—one of several guests seeking a quiet retreat. It had been a long snowy season, and this cold morning was perhaps one last, serious squeeze from old man winter.

Today’s post is by Bryan Berghoef “Hello? Are you there, Dad?” I am awakened from my thoughts by my youngest child poking me, as I had apparently gone somewhere else while playing a game with her. This is a less common experience than it used to be, but still happens from time to time. We […]

Today’s post is by Bryan Berghoef My first introduction to a meditation bell or singing bowl was at my first Shalem staff meeting some years ago. I clearly remember hearing it ring out—the warm vibrations had an immediate calming influence. It seemed the obvious and natural way to lead us into silence, even though it […]

Today’s post is by Bryan Berghoef The current stage of life I’m in is busy. I have four active kids in elementary and middle school. Daily I find myself driving them to practice, to track meets, to school activities. I work as a pastor in a new church setting in which I am the only […]

Today’s post is by Bryan Berghoef

There is never a dull moment at our house. My wife and I have four children—amid the flurry of homework assignments, birthday parties, sibling spats, and dinnertime squabbles—there’s a lot of constant noise and movement.

One of the delightful things about having young children is their unbridled enthusiasm and overwhelming energy. They are fully present, without a sense that there is anything else to be. They are fully in the moment. This is a gift of being a child, not being weighed down by thoughts of the future, or by a sense of responsibility, or worry. They are right here, right now.

The downside is that everything is so important, and when something doesn’t go their way, right now, it’s reason for complaining, crying, sometimes even—panic. Spilling milk really is something to cry over. A favorite toy breaking feels like the apocalypse. Even as I write this there is fighting in the sandbox. (Don’t worry – we have plenty of moments of calm and laughter as well in our household!)

I long as a parent to be able to maintain an inner calm amid all this outer chaos and confusion. I find that I very seldom am able to cultivate that on the spot. It is something I need to consciously develop in other moments, so that when the chaos comes, I have a reserve of calm from which to draw. It might be a daily time of prayer and silence, a quiet walk outside, Scripture reading, or some other practice.