On Good Friday, no one anticipated Easter. The disciples, in shock and grief, hid away in fear. Neither the disciples nor Jesus’s enemies expected resurrection.
And then the resurrection came. Unbelievable. How could this be? Still in shock and grief, the disciples weren’t ready. Even after Jesus appeared to the disciples, they kept hiding in fear.
The seven weeks following Easter are known as “Eastertide,” a time of living into the resurrection. In the biblical stories read in churches during Eastertide, the disciples don’t do too well at manifesting resurrection reality. In one story, we find them locked away in a room out of fear. In another, they are walking along the road and don’t even recognize the resurrected Jesus when he starts walking and talking with them.
What keeps the disciples afraid? What makes them blind? Why do they keep slipping back into a mentality of fear and disbelief even after Jesus appears to them?
Perhaps they felt blindsided. Already reeling from the crucifixion, still taking that in, they weren’t ready for the resurrection. Dreams shattered, hopes dashed with the crucifixion, they felt betrayed. They had believed Jesus was the Messiah, about to deliver them from the cruelty of the Roman occupation. And then they witnessed the crucifixion.
Now this. Could they trust the resurrection? Their hurting hearts and confused minds struggled to make sense of it all. How could this be? Was Jesus a ghost? Perhaps they inwardly questioned: “Are you kidding me?” “Are you toying with us, Jesus?” “We won’t be tricked again.” “Fool me once, shame on you. . .”
Perhaps they tried to shut out the pain by retreating into reason. They tried to make logical sense of all that had transpired. And of course they couldn’t. The events defied rational explanation.
In this season of Eastertide as I observe the disciples, I’ve been reflecting on death and resurrection in my life and in my country, the United States. I ask, “What is mine to do?” I’ve wondered what Eastertide leadership means in my context. I’m watching the death of many things I hold dear. I watch a video of a student who is legally here in the U.S. snatched off the street by plainclothes ICE agents. I watch Senator Murkowski admit she’s afraid of retaliation if she speaks her mind. I watch the Supreme Court defied by the President. I watch hardworking federal employees working on essential projects fired. I watch the rug pulled out from under vulnerable populations. I watch scientific research supporting health and human good harpooned.
At the same time, I see resurrection and new life. I see people exercising Eastertide leadership with hope and creativity. I receive stories of hope from The Smile. I see the “Rapid Response Choir” singing songs of resistance and hope at protests. I see judges sending fired federal employees back to work. I see Harvard University standing up to unjust demands. I see Senator Van Hollen traveling to El Salvador to meet with Kilmar Abrego Garcia and lobby for his release. I see large crowds gather together in the streets to speak up for justice.
A wave of sadness and despair washes over me when I see the death of so many things I held dear. Then a wave of joy comes when creative juices flow and I see the potential for new life and energy in the courageous acts of people around me. Then the waves get all mixed up together, many emotions roiling around inside of me all at once.
Like the disciples, we are living in a time of experiencing death and resurrection together. Like the disciples I feel grief and hope, sadness and joy, anger and healing, sometimes in waves, sometimes all at the same time. I seek to exercise Eastertide leadership in the midst of it all. May we all be gentle with ourselves and with one another and may we have courage as we go through the grieving process while also learning to live in resurrection and hope. May we each discover what is ours to do as we step into Eastertide leadership in these challenging times.