Can there be a gift in fussiness?
By Stephanie Gretchen Burgevin. Stephanie is a writer and retreat leader. She is an associate faculty member of Shalem and a graduate of their Leading Contemplative Prayer Groups and Retreats Program and leads spiritual and secular programs. Stephanie manages Shalem’s blog. You can see more of her writing at blessedjourneyblog.com.
Have you ever had it happen, when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed and have no idea why you’re in a funk? Try as you might to suppress these uncomfortable feelings they still manage to sneak their way into your interactions of the day and you just feel crabby and off.
This happened to me recently. I had no idea where it came from or why, but I suddenly had an “issue” I needed to deal with. And, somehow trying to ignore it just makes it bigger.
So, I looked back into the mirror, not knowing how I got to this place or how to get out. The prayer is simply, “Help.”
Once I stop fighting it and look with honesty at myself the internal fussiness starts to mellow. Funny, but somehow, once I acknowledge it and look at it head on, it dissipates. It’s that little nudge reminding me that I’ve got work to do, reminding me I’m not in control and growth doesn’t happen on my time schedule. Hello, Life! Hello, Spiritual Guidance!
With the Light shining I can see this is the old worthiness issue or the old whatever issue. I can accept it and, with a little more understanding and care for myself, move on, thankful for this humbling little gem.
These little moments force us to live the realness of life, stepping outside our rote behavior to look at the truth. One more reminder that we don’t walk this way alone.